By Jen Bauer

In our first year of marriage, my wife Kendra and I tested our relationship with a six-week trip to Europe. Fortunately it was a great tip and the first of many more. Not even with the birth of our daughter Addison in 2010 has slowed down. Our 2-year-old has been to more than 30 U.S. states, England and France.

Adding a little one to the mix has definitely changed how we travel. We now plan our adventures around naptimes and Addie’s ever-changing routine. Being lesbian moms requires some additional considerations, too. In addition to the possibility of having to deal with discrimination, harassment, and persecution during what should be a relaxing getawy, we need to deal with the practical fact that our legal marriage isn’t recognized in most states or foreign countries.

As Addison’s non-biological mother, I formally adopted her. This ensures that I can make medical decisions for her in Kendra’s absence. And if something happens to Kendra in a place that doesn’t recognize our marriage, I won’t have to worry about losing custody of Addie. Had I not taken that extra step, my parental relationship with daughter could be nullified in a place that doesn’t recognize our marriage.

Here are five other steps Kendra and I have taken to make sure our family is safe and protected when we travel:

Pack Your Paperwork

In addition to the usual vacation clothes and child gear, be sure to pack health care proxies, birth certificates & adoption papers.

The ideal is to have an attorney draw up a health care proxy for each family member so each parent has the right to make medical decisions for one another and the kids. Before I formally adopted Addison, we had an affidavit drawn up and notarized in which Kendra gave her consent for me to make medical decisions on Addison’s behalf.  Birth certificates and adoption papers prove parental guardianship and can help to quickly resolve any issues that come up if you’re crossing borders.

Tip: In addition to taking copies of these documents with you, leave copies with someone back home, too (including copies of your passports if you’re traveling outside the U.S.).

Know the Local Laws

It is actually illegal to be gay in some countries. This one seems like a no-brainer, but we try to avoid places where our family is not welcome. If you can’t do that, try to avoid behavior that draws attention to your status as a gay couple. The last thing you want is to have your children separated from you in a foreign land.

Hold a Family Meeting

Talk with your spouse about how you will handle anti-gay sentiments or awkward moments. Even with the best planning, you can’t always avoid the homophobic waitress or inconsiderate concierge. I will never forget a conversation I had with a little girl sitting next to us in an airport. She asked who Addie’s mom was and I replied that Kendra and I both were. Unfazed, she relayed the information to her nanny, who became very insistent that two women could not be married.

If your kids are old enough, include them in the conversation. Make sure they know that being gay is not universally embraced. Practice how they can respond to ignorant or aggressive behavior. Discuss possible uncomfortable scenarios and decide as a family when being safe will trump being out as a same-sex couple.

Leave an Itinerary Back at Home

Now that we have a child, we make sure our families know where we are going and where we are spending the night. And we give them  secondary contact information in case they can’t reach us on our mobile phones.

Have a Gay Old Time!

Book a room at a Bed and Breakfast that caters to LGBT families, travel to an area with a large population of gay folk, or attend an event specifically for gay families, such as Family Week in Provincetown, MA.

Though we want our daughter to meet all kinds of people, sometimes it feels good to be surrounded by families like our own in a place we know for certain will be discrimination-free. Be careful to pick a place that is not only gay-friendly, but also clearly kid-friendly. Adults looking for a romantic getaway may not find your little ones quite as charming as you do.

Hopefully, you’ll never need these extra precautions, but if you do you’ll be glad you went to the hassle of all that extra paperwork and planning. So think ahead, travel safe, and most important, have fun experiencing the world with your children!

Jen Bauer started blogging when she and her wife took their first trip to Europe together in 2006. With the birth of their daughter in 2010, Jen’s writing expanded to include adventures in parenthood. Jen also teaches digital media and visual arts to inner-city high school students, drinks too many lattes, takes a lot of photographs, and hikes through the woods with her daughter leading the way. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest..

http://www.jwsanantonio.com/

Price Range: $$$-$$$$

All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: Available, Not Standard
Supplemental Fees for Kids: No
Activity/Resort Fee: Yes

Family Floor/Wing: No
Suites: Yes, Divided
Refrigerators: Yes, in all rooms
Kitchen: No
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Indoor Pool: No
Outdoor Pool: Yes
Family Pool: Yes
Playground: No
Daily Kid’s Camp: Yes (fee)
Video Game Room: No
Babysitter: Yes, onsite
Washer/Dryer: No

Grocery Stores Nearby: No
Playground Nearby: No
Shuttle to/from Airport: No
Shuttle to Key Attractions: No
Referral to a Taxi Service with Car Seats: No

Additional Family Amenities/Notes: Tennis. Golf course with lesson for adults and teens (fees). Heated outdoor lazy river, water slides and children’s pool; adult pool. Bound outdoors nature programs (fee). Segway tours (fee). Range Riders kids club (ages 4-12; fee), Teen Scene evening activities. Trails for jogging, biking, mountain biking and hiking.

www.grandwaikikianhgvc.hilton.com

Price Range: $$-$$$ All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: Available, Not Standard
Supplemental Fees for Kids: Yes
Activity/Resort Fee: No

Family Floor/Wing: No
Suites: Yes, Divided
Cribs: Yes, free
Refrigerators: Yes, in all rooms
Kitchen: Yes, Full kitchens in all rooms
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Indoor Pool: No
Outdoor Pool: Yes
Family Pool: No
Playground: No
Daily Kid’s Camp: Yes (fee)
Video Game Room: No
Babysitter: Yes, referrals
Washer/Dryer: Yes

Grocery Stores Nearby: Yes
Playground Nearby: Yes
Shuttle to/from Airport: No
Shuttle to Key Attractions: No
Referral to a Taxi Service with Car Seats: Yes

Additional Family Amenities/Notes: Beach, Fishing, snorkeling, 6 pools including a family pool with slides, waterfalls and streams. Camp Penguin (ages 5-12; fee). Near Ala Mona Beach, Waikiki Aquarium, Royal Hawaiian shopping center. All rooms are suites.

By Eileen Gunn

The East End of Long Island is less than two hours from New York City and suprisingly rural, so parents often ask me what there is to do out there with kids. Unfortunately, everything I know about the Hamptons I’ve learned from watching Sex and the City and Revenge, which tend focus on adult pursuits like drinking, back-stabbing and adultery.

To find some better answers, 5-year-old Tiny Traveler and I headed out to the Riverhead and the South Fork over spring break. We discovered a lot of fun stuff, especially if you visit outside of the crowded summer season. Here are our best ideas:

Play

1. TT loved the Children’s Museum of the East End in Bridgehampton. Three hours after arriving I had to surgically extract her.

A sizable indoor playground (above) is great for rainy days. But the real draw is the pretend play the museum encourages with costumes and a collection of sets  including a farm stand, soda shop, workshop, ship and library. A compact mock-up of a potato chip factory had her enthralled.

2. We didn’t get to the small Natural History Museum across the road, but we’ll check it out next time. A local parent tells us there is a nice walking trail behind it.

4. I was lukewarm on the Long Island Aquarium in Riverhead. TT enjoyed seeing the butterflies and penguins, exploring touch tanks and feeding tiny minnow to the rays. But it’s expensive relative to other regional aquariums and not nearly as well executed as similarly priced venues. The bird room (right) had just a handful of squawking parrots. I couldn’t decide whether the Dr. Zaius statue in the monkey habitat was mildly amusing or unbelievably cheesy.

4. We also didn’t get to the smallish Railroad Museum of Long Island in Riverhead. In the warm weather kids can ride scaled down outdoor train on the weekends. A collection of working Lionel trains should please both parents and kids.

Decorate

Gingerbread University is about 10 minutes north of central Riverhead. For about $15 and up you can buy a giant, seasonally appropriate gingerbread cookie (TT could choose a heart, flower or butterfly), a large pastry bag of icing and a pile of candy for decorating.

The North Fork Tasting Room is next door. Should you visit on a weekend you can sample local beer or wine while your child makes her gingerbread creation. There’s also a small play area out front and a lobster roll place that’s probably hopping in warmer weather.

Get Outside

1. One advantage of visiting the East End off-season is that the parks, beaches and beach parking that are reserved for residents in summertime are open to the public. On a sunny March day we had the tide pools and dunes on the beach outside of Southampton all to ourselves.  We ran around until we were cold and exhausted.

2. One thing you can only do in the wintertime is go seal watching. The Coastal Research and Education Society of Long Island offers seal walks from December to early spring. Or you can try your luck on your own at Montauk Sate Park and Cupsogue Beach County Park in Westhampton. Dress very warm and bring binoculars.

3. The Quogue Wildlife Refuge, which has seven miles of walking trails is open yearround. Indoors, you can visit native animals, including a bobcat, owls, falcons and eagles, that the staff has recued.

Eat and Drink

We were too early for all the wonderful farm stands to be open but did find other local food gems.

Jerry & the Mermaid, the clam bar next door to both our hotel and the Aquarium has burgers, decent fish & chips (with waffle fries!), good and generous salads and a few local wines. If you’re staying at the Hyatt Place they’ll deliver. It’s way better than the aquarium’s crowded and overpriced café.

The retro soda shop at the Children’s Museum (above) featured photos of real nearby counterparts. These led us to the Sip’n Soda, a 1950s luncheonette in Southamton. I had a burger, TT had a hot dog and we shared an excellent vanilla ice cream soda. She loved it and it was a bargain, especially for the Hamptons. There are similar retro soda fountains on the main streets in Riverhead and Bridgehampton.

The only downside to our ice cream lunch was that we didn’t get to eat at the Southampton Publick House, a large restaurant on the outside of town that offers pub food and well-regarded house-brewed beers.

Some of the many local wineries have sizable tasting rooms that are manageable with (well-behaved) kids in the quiet off-season. TT snuggled with me by a fireplace and had a snack while I tasted a flight of reds and whites at Roanoke Vineyards. Had it been a smidge warmer I would have sat on their patio and let her run around on the grass. Afterward, with permission from the staff, I showed her the rows of budding grape vines out back.

Stay

We stayed at the Hyatt Place East End in Riverhead, which usually offers a package that includes aquarium tickets. The indoor pool was too chilly to swim in for as long as we wanted to (there is an outdoor pool and grill in summer). But the room was family friendly and the breakfast was generous. Riverhead sits where the North and South forks meet, making it a good gateway to either.

If you stay the weekend, you can explore both.

www.thalaneresort.com

All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: Yes
Supplemental Fees for Kids: No
Activity/Resort Fee: No

Family Floor/Wing: No
Suites: No
Cribs: Yes, free
Refrigerators: Yes, in all rooms
Kitchen: No
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Outdoor Pool: Yes
Playground: No
Daily Kid’s Camp: No
Video Game Room: No
Babysitter: No
Washer/Dryer: No

Grocery Store Nearby: No
Playground Nearby: No
Shuttle to/from Airport: Yes
Shuttle to Key Attractions: No
Referral to a Taxi Service with Child Car Seats: No

Additional Family Amenities/Notes:

www.ritzcarlton.com/kapalua

Price Range: $$$-$$$$ All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: Available, Not Standard
Supplemental Fees for Kids: No
Activity/Resort Fee: Yes

Family Floor/Wing: No
Suites: Yes, Both open and divided
Cribs: Yes, free
Refrigerators: Yes, in all rooms
Kitchen: Yes, Mini kitchen in some rooms
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Indoor Pool: No
Outdoor Pool: Yes
Family Pool: Yes
Playground: Yes
Daily Kid’s Camp: Yes
Video Game Room: No
Babysitter: Yes, referrals
Washer/Dryer: No

Grocery Stores Nearby: Yes
Playground Nearby: Yes
Shuttle to/from Airport: No
Shuttle to Key Attractions: Yes (limited)
Referral to a Taxi Service with Car Seats: Yes

Additional Family Amenities/Notes:Beach. Tennis, basketball, surfing, boogie boarding, sailing, kayaking, sport fishing (some fees). Year-round and seasonal activities, crafts and movies for children (ages 5 to 12 years). Jean-Michel Cousteau’s Ambassadors of the Environment activities for all ages with trained naturalists. Programs include Cities Under The Sea, Adventures in Nature, Underwater Photography, Star Voyager, Marine Debris to Artistry, and Turtle Tracks (fee). Guided hikes to the Kapalua Arboretum, whale-watching excursions and underwater photography snorkeling sessions (fee; adults only). Daily cultural activities organized by the hotel’s Hawaiian “cultural ambassador.”

By

When we contemplated returning to Canada with our young family after a decade overseas we wanted a friendly, walkable town with plenty of (cheap or free) things to do with kids like the summertime outdoor market to the right. We found Sidney, a former fishing town on Vancouver Island.

We’ve since moved on to bigger Victoria. But we’re still evangelists for this town located on the tip of the Saanich Peninsula, about two hours from Washington state by ferry. We recommend it to anyone we know visiting the Pacific Northwest with kids.

Here are our 5 favorite things to do in town:

1. Hit the beach

The most accessible beach for visitors is Glass Beach, At the foot of Beacon Avenue, Sidney’s main drag, a walkway stretches along the coast to a sandy beach that’s home to a large eagle population.

But our favorite beach is a nameless patch of sand off of Goddard Road, a 15-minute walk up 3rd Street from the town center. It’s hidden from view by a thick forest of towering Douglas Firs, but if you manage tofind it you’ll find a white oyster-shell shingle, and lots of local families wading in  the tidepools looking for sea creatures.

2. Get out on the water

We love the rich marine history of the town, where many people still work in boatbuilding or fish for salmon and halibut for a living. During long summer evenings we like taking our kids crabbing off the Sidney Pier (be sure to pick up a license first).

At least once a summer we still take a short ferry ride from Sidney Pier to Sidney Spit Marine Park, an uninhabited, forested island that’s popular as an anchorage with sailboats traveling to Alaska.

3. Learn about the Salish Sea

Getting an inside look at life under the sea.

The Shaw Ocean Discovery Centre is a newer attraction that’s been drawing us back to the town lately. One of the most unique and innovative aquariums in Canada, the Shaw Discovery Centre does a great job of explaining the ecology of the Salish Sea the local name for the body of water stretching from Puget Sound in Washington State through the San Juan Islands. There are plenty of hands-on exhibits that have staved off boredom during our rainy winter season.

Our family is still a little too young for it, but many people with tweens and teens launch sea kayaks from Glass Beach to explore the Salish Sea and its nearby maze of islands.

Kayakers set out to explore the Salish Sea.

4. Browse Booktown

In an era where bookstores in many cities are going out of business Sidney still has about 10 independent and used bookstores dotting Beacon Avenue, earning it its status as Canada’s booktown.

You’ll find a children’s bookstore, a bookstore devoted to gardening, but my favorite would have to be the Haunted Bookshop. It always has what I’m looking for, no matter how obscure the topic. As an added bonus, it’s just around the corner from a large toy store, as asset I confess I’ve used to bribe my kids to give me more time with books!

5. Hop on a Bike

The opportunities for cycling are one of the chief reasons I wanted to live here. Motorists are used to and generally respect cyclists, and there’s a genuine bike culture here with dozens of bike shops offering specialty parts, advice and a sense of community.

Sidney lies along the Lochside Regional Trail, a 29-kilometer bike that runs from downtown Victoria to the Schwartz Bay Ferry terminal at the tip of the Saanich Peninsula. If your children are old enough, it’s entirely possible to do the round-trip to Victoria and back in one day. The route passes through forests and farming country (though there are times where riders must share the road with cars).

Other Stuff

The most famous attraction near Sidney is Butchart Gardens, which has a carousel for small children and hosts  wonderful fireworks shows on weekend evenings in the summer. There’s also an, independent movie theater with weekend matinees, and The Sidney Museum’s annual Lego expo.

Sidney also boasts a collection of at least a half-dozen Greek restaurants in a two-block radius. We have our favorite, but there are some secrets locals will never divulge.

Nevin Thompson writes for the Cedarwood Inn and Suites, a Sidney BC hotel located across the street from the beach and a ferry ride away from Anacortes, Washington.

www.hotelmariaangelina.com

Price Range: $ All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: Yes
Supplemental Fees for Kids: No
Activity/Resort Fee: Yes

Family Floor/Wing: Yes
Suites: No
Cribs: No
Refrigerators: No
Kitchen: No
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Indoor Pool: No
Outdoor Pool: No
Family Pool: No
Playground: No
Daily Kid’s Camp: No
Video Game Room: No
Babysitter: No
Washer/Dryer: No

Grocery Stores Nearby: Yes
Playground Nearby: Yes
Shuttle to/from Airport: No
Shuttle to Key Attractions: No
Referral to a Taxi Service with Car Seats: No

Additional Family Amenities/Notes:  TV, private bathroom, hot water, parking, restaurant, 8 blocks from downtown.

www.dundeebayvillas.com

Price Range: $ All Inclusive: No
Breakfast Included: No
Supplemental Fees for Kids: No
Activity/Resort Fee: No

Family Floor/Wing: No
Suites: Yes
Cribs: No
Refrigerators: Yes, in all rooms
Kitchen: Yes, Full kitchens in all rooms
In-Room Wi-Fi: Yes

Indoor Pool: No
Outdoor Pool: Yes
Family Pool: No
Playground: Yes
Daily Kid’s Camp: No
Video Game Room: Yes
Babysitter: Yes, referrals
Washer/Dryer: No

Grocery Stores Nearby: Yes
Playground Nearby: No
Shuttle to/from Airport: No
Shuttle to Key Attractions: No
Referral to a Taxi Service with Car Seats: Yes

Additional Family Amenities/Notes: Beaches nearby.

Welcome to Hershey, PA

By Eileen P. Gunn

We went to Hershey, PA last summer on a whim. We had no weekend plans, it’s a reasonable drive from New York City, and my husband and I both had childhood memories of the place that made us curious about it.

We had a good time, but there are a few things we would have done better (like not saved our sojourn into Pennsylvania Dutch Country for Sunday when things are closed).

Here’s what we liked about our weekend and what we’d do differently.

Play

I loved Chocolate World. It’s expensive, but fun. The highlight for us was making our own chocolate bars. Using touch-screens, TT and I chose the kind of chocolate we wanted and selected fillings. Then we followed our bars as they progressed along a mini assembly line. While the chocolate cooled, we each designed a box for our treat.

We also liked the ride through a pseudo Hershey’s factory where cows sing and you learn how Kisses are made. A trolley tour mixes group singing with actors telling story of the town and it’s namesake Milton Hershey. I really enjoyed learning about Milton and his many failures and innovations. But TT was only interested in the free candy they gave out and Rich rolled his eyes often at the singing and hammed-up acting.

Hershey Park is probably a great deal if you have kids who want to ride its 11 roller coasters or if you need to entertain both older and younger kids. With only a small child we didn’t think it was worth the $153 in entrance fees. The few rides that would entertain us without scaring the heck out of our child had very long lines. We spent most of the day watching her go on kiddie rides alone or squeezing into too-small rides alongside her.

Next time, we’ll try Dutch Wonderland, which local families have told us is better with small kids. And at $108 for three of us, it’s a little easier on the wallet.

We’ll also spend more time in Pennsylvania Dutch country and will certainly head to the Lancaster Central Market for seasonal produce and local specialties like fresh horseradish, egg noodles and pickled vegetables. We’d also consider a buggy ride that would give us close-up views of Amish life or a ride on a restored steam trainin Strasburg.

Eat

Rich and I were thrilled to discover that microbrewer Troegs has a reasonably kid friendly taproom just down the street from the Hershey Park. The very good beer was a welcome change from the morning’s chocolate binge. The menu has more than first meets the eye. And the food is nicely done, often featuring local ingredients. Rich and I shared spicy tortilla soup and a charcuterie plate while TT chomped on chicken saté.

For dinner one night we managed to wangle a table The Chocolate Avenue Grill (not easy to do). The cocktail menu was fun and familiar sandwiches and entrees all had enough of a twist to make them interesting. The kids’ menu had steak, salmon, shrimp and coconut-crusted chicken as well as the usual pasta. The Luna Grill is a Mexican restaurant further from town center that seems to be owned by the same people. We didn’t get to try it, but based on our experience on Chocolate Avenue, I certainly would.

The one thing we did manage to do as we drove home through Amish country was eat lunch. We sampled local specialties like chicken and waffles, baked cabbage and buttered noodles along with several kinds of pie at Miller’s Smorgasboard. Afterward, we stopped at the nearby Dutch Haven to bring home a gooey but good shoo-fly pie.

Stay

Instead of staying in Hershey we would probably look for a farm stay in Lancaster county that would give us a taste of local life and a chance to breathe some country air.

If you do want to stay close to Hershey you have your pick of budget-friendly chain hotels nearby. We stayed at a Comfort Inn, where the indoor pool was handy on a rainy morning and the free breakfast was fine if not stellar.

If your budget is very deep, try the elegant but pricey Hershey Lodge or even pricier Hotel Hershey.

Detour

The road from New York City to Hershey passes through Easton, PA, home of the Crayola Experience, which is reopening on Memorial Day weekend after a major renovation. It promises games and interactive activities (probably arts & crafts). Plus, you get to learn how crayons are made. It seems like a good way break from driving if you need it.

If your kids are the right age to be learning American history, a sidetrip to Gettysburg is essential. 2013 is the 150^th anniversary of that pivotal battle, so look for special activities this summer (and perhaps bigger crowds).

A park ranger with new recruits for President Lincoln.

With all these great things to do, you might just see us there this summer, for our Hershey-Lancaster-vacation do-over.